From the dressing up, to seeing cool people, to dancing to dope music, and most importantly, to the great bottles of water everyone guzzles down, going to the club is fun. Great as it is, there are some things which are definite no-nos. If you find yourself getting up to any of the things mentioned in this list, do yourself a favour and just stop. Trust me, it will make you a better human being.

1 Grinding on every Busi, Thandeka and Candice

Public service announcement! No woman wants some random guy on the dancefloor grinding on them. It’s gross and uncomfortable and makes us want to punch you in the face. This is a form of harassment so stop it, lads.

2 Not having a plan to go home

It’s 4am and time to go home, but there’s no money. There’s nothing as sad as seeing girls and guys huddled up together on a pavement waiting for the first bunch of taxis to start operating. At 6am! Stow away the transport money in your shoes if you have to, or even in your bra. Just make sure you have enough money to go home.

3 Expecting ladies to go home with you because you bought them drinks

By virtue of buying a girl a drink, she has to spend the night with you. Wrong. If you are looking for someone to take home at the end of the night, try an escort agency maybe? Or, try stating your intentions from the get go. Be honest and say, “If you accept this drink, I want you to go home with me.” See how lucky you get.

4 Forcing a conversation

One of the best things about going out is meeting new people. Sometimes though, an intellectual conversation is the last thing on anyone’s mind. The loud music and the copious consumption of beverages, makes having a conversation the most tedious task. If you can see that the person you’re talking to seems uninterested in how you think that good women or men are hard to find nowadays, stop talking and have that conversation with your cat.

5 Emotional outbursts

Sometimes people cry when they’re having fun. You cry because the people you have met are now your best friends and you are going to be friends forever and ever. Cute, but to those who have to deal with these emotional outbursts, it’s anything but. Try something else to express your emotions, like crying on the inside.

6 The missing friend

In every group of friends, there’s always the one friend that always goes missing and pitches up hours later like they never left. If you are this person, just stop it. There’s nothing like having to put fun on hold to look for a missing person. If you’re that type, at least tell someone where you’re off too. Now, everyone can have fun.