Steps to singlehood this Valentine's Day

Shani Rhoda

Ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse varius enim in eros elementum tristique

    We all want to make our loved ones feel special but on Valentine’s Day, the thought only counts if it’s good! We’ve compiled a list of the worst gifts to give your girlfriend or boyfriend. If your gift ideas are mentioned here, you have one day to save your relationship or prevent being #foreveralone. […]

 

download

 

We all want to make our loved ones feel special but on Valentine’s Day, the thought only counts if it’s good! We’ve compiled a list of the worst gifts to give your girlfriend or boyfriend. If your gift ideas are mentioned here, you have one day to save your relationship or prevent being #foreveralone.

 

Why girls don’t want:

 

1.Plastic roses – Eternal love cannot be forced. We prefer the real thing, or our love for you will end up like your plastic roses…dead!

2. Cheap jewelry – Swollen earlobes…itchy skin…rusted rings…NO!

3. Bath stuff – Relaxing in a tub of lavender-scented bubbles is great, but having to empty our perfume bottles to get rid of the old-people smell is not so great.

4. Faux perfume – Any lady loves smelling good, but when the smell fades and we can’t Instagram the bottles because it’s covered in Fragrance Boutique labels, we seem to prefer our Yardley deodorants.

5. Illness – uhhmm… #nuffsaid – We love surprises but when they’re in the form of infected genitals, we like to return the favour with new car accessories (yes, a cracked windscreen does count as an accessory!).

6. Nothing – Seriously?! Even those tasteless chocolates from Clicks would do.

 

What not even the most undeserving boyfriend deserves:

 

1. A mug – Not a plain one, not one with hearts on it, and definitely not one with a picture of the two of you on it. Grant the man some dignity in the office.

2. Socks – Unless your dad is your Valentine, socks are a no-no. A way to ensure your boyfriend walks straight out of your life.

3.Cartoon boxers – No guy wants to be parading around in his Spongebob or Tweety boxers. In public at least.

4. Hair trimmer – Awkward much?

5. A bun in the oven – An unplanned pregnancy is the equivalent of an unexpected STI. Surprise him, don’t shock him.

To all you hopeless Valentines, I hope these tips will be taken seriously. Remember them, I predict these gifts would maintain the same feelings for years to come. Warning: breaking these rules might lead to permanent singlehood!

 

Pictures:

 

http://skitguys.com/scripts/theme/valentines

 

http://clyshergifts.synthasite.com/for-her.php

 

http://ratekam.com/valentines-day-special-buy-1-get-1-on-photo-mug-at-printvenue-com/

 

http://www.aliexpress.com/popular/cartoon-boxer-shorts.html

 

http://khloekardashian.celebuzz.com/sexy-socks-01-2014

 

http://www.aliexpress.com/cp/compare-pins-jewellery-brooch.html

 

http://blog.canalwalk.co.za/2013/02/08/a-february-of-fragrances/

 

http://www.actionetix.com/articles/hydration

 

http://myparenthetical.com/10-year-old-is-getting-kind-of-chubby/7-weight-scale/