Renowned thespian, danseur, chanteur and philosopher Christopher Maurice Brown once said, while announcing the coming of spring “Why would I ever turn my back on what we had? Oh girl you always bring that first day of Spring”. With the dreaded Game of Thrones-esque winter finally coming to an end we will once again be engulfed by the glorious warmer season defined by festivals and flip flops.
It’s unavoidable that this season will bring as much nonsense as winter did – I saw a girl wearing nothing but cheeky denim shorts and an oversize baseball shirt on one of the coldest days of the year. On another occasion a couple walked into a regular late night spot I was chilling at – the man wearing a wifebeater and cutoffs, the woman clad in a strapless lace number. Me, I was sensibly clothed in jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, a thick woolly crewneck and sneakers. After all, it was 10 degrees outside! And so the Silliness Monitoring Commission (SMC) has once again assembled to call these transgressors to order.
With people bound to start wearing less clothes and shorter pants and dresses we’re going to be terrorized by the scourge of unshaven legs at the many festivals we’ll be attending. Hair Removal Creams & Lotions retail for no more than R65; one less round of beers at the spot versus doing an invaluable public service sounds like a good deal to me.
But of course, the SMC is not just about judging the attire of our fellow countrymen. We take ourselves a little more seriously than that. Noticed how the quality of news starts to decline round this time of year? The approach of year end is directly proportional to the downward dive newsrooms’ wills take to create menaingful content. Suddenly we’re faced with a barrage of friviolous listicles, like “how to make the most of your summer holiday” or “10 movies that influenced Mad Men”. Okay, the last example isn’t that bad but still – we buy newspapers for news. If you’re going offer us substandard content, then reduce the price of the publication during that time. It’s either that, or stop the nonsense.