A university campus is a melting pot of all kinds of characters from different places who each bring something unique to campus life. Here are six entertaining characters you will likely meet at varsity.
Straight outta Data File Host Records, Mr Mrapper thinks that he is the best thing to happen to hip-hop since Kendrick Lamar. The rapper has the most aggressive marketing strategy on earth. Tagging everyone and their dog on Facebook and Twitter in spam-like status updates with a link to their most recent single. They are always at the student centre asking everyone to like their Facebook page. He refers to everyone as their “fam” and is always giving shout outs to their almost non-existent fan base. If you know one, you will be guilt-tripped into downloading their song, in fears of bumping into them on campus and not knowing what they’re on about. It’s probably a good thing that he’s studying towards getting a degree, even though he’s been doing this first-year thing for five years.
The carefree black girl
The new-age euphemism for a black feminist, avid supporter of the “free the nipple” movement, the carefree black girl is mostly recognisable by her natural afro. She says and does whatever she wants. In a conversation, almost every second sentence has the word “patriarchy” in it, and she’s always stressing that she doesn’t hate men. She is at all the campus discussions and will find ways to say something about the plight of black women, even when the topic has nothing to do with that. She is often just seen as an “angry black woman”.
Often the best dressed person on campus, the blogger always looks like they just walked out of Tumblr. They think and act like they are part of the social elite. They are always at exclusive events, with or without an invite. When you come across a blogger, one of the first things they’ll ask you is to follow their blog. They are never afraid to give shameless plugs on who they’ve met and interviewed on their blogs. Yes, the blogger does make money from what they’re doing, and they’ll make you feel it. They walk around campus with Woolies snacks and have the audacity to comment on how low on cash they are. We hate them because we want to be them.
Mostly recognisable by their dashiki and African-print head scarves, the woke’s sole purpose is to fight the system. Always armed and ready with a Steve Biko line, they are always game for an intellectual conversation on the importance of Black Consciousness. Having resolved in spelling Africa with a “k”, they refer to fellow black people as their brothers and sisters. The woke are often the campus celebrity, with a cult following referring to them as “My leader”. Thy never really admit it, but they have secret ambitions to become the campus’ SRC President. They think their opinions are important, and that everyone wants to hear them. You tolerate the first few interactions you have with them and end up going the other direction the next time you come across them.
The bad bitch
Hair done, nails done, everything did. This girls lives the Instagram life – the freshest weaves, vacations and expensive shoes galore. She claims to afford this life on her student budget… But we don’t judge #Dubai. This girl knows she’s hot and makes it a point everyone knows it too. She comes to campus in 6-inch stilettos and couldn’t be bothered by what you think. Girls in this category are always in competition with one another, and belong to either the #TeamThick or #TeamSkinnyBitch faction.They act and believe that they are different to one another, but are inherently the same breed. Waist training, lemon water drinking #TeamThick always have their best assets on display and never run out of leggings to wear. #TeamSkinnyBitch on the other hand, belongs to the crop top nation. If you have seen them often enough you can probably start identifying them by their belly buttons.
“Hi I am @handle.” The tweleb or instagrammer no longer refers to themselves by their birth name. They are the popular kid on the playground. Or so they think. Having sold their souls to Promotion Twitter, the tweleb has become a D-list celebrity. So naturally, they walk around campus like you are supposed to know who they are. They call themselves brand influencers while all they really are is glorified promoters with Twitter handles. They are always invited to the coolest parties and somehow believe they are friends with all the celebrities they’ve met, by virtue of sitting next to them at an event. Always sharing the same old story of how they met AKA with anyone willing to listen. You will like them at first, but end up avoiding them.
Photography by Storm Wright
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