Her throat felt dry, she was dehydrated from all the tears she soaked onto her pillow at night. Somehow she was at war with herself, constantly shifting her mindset into thinking positive thoughts. But in the next moment thinking that something was wrong with her. Why couldn’t she get over things like everybody else? Why couldn’t she just smile and carry on with life and see the better days that everybody else was consumed by?

This is why. Her reality had turned into a horror movie where she constantly had to think I wonder who is the next person who is going to leave me. She was so used to seeing people move out of her life into six feet underground places that were made out of tiny spaces.

It was two days after Christmas, the sun was shining and everything was going well that day, but she had a stomach ache. Somehow she could tell that something was about to go wrong.

Hours later she received a call that her uncle had passed on. He had shot himself and nothing could be changed. It was at that moment the earth swallowed every emotion she carried on her back. Tears fell down her face, the memories of a lovely Christmas were wiped away. I guess everything happens for a reason she thought.

According to South African Anxiety and Depression Group it has been proven that suicide is among the top 20 leading causes of death globally for all ages. Every year almost one million people die from suicide, a global mortality rate of one death every 40 seconds. Although traditionally, suicide rates have been highest among the male elderly, rates among young people have been increasing to such an extent that they are now the group (15-29) at highest risk in both developed and developing countries.

Most people are afraid to talk about suicide because of the stigma that has been attached to it. Other people think that suicide is just a way for “cowardly” people to check out of this world. But all in all, the main fact is that many young people are dying from this pandemic every day. We cannot close our eyes and wish that it never happened, because like it or not, someone right now out there is contemplating taking their life because of scenarios we haven’t even thought of.

We cannot judge, unless we’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes. All we can do is learn how to open up and talk about the issues that bother us and harbour our souls. So many young people feel alone and that they can’t talk about how waking up in the morning is sometimes a struggle or how they’ve contemplated taking a bunch of pills to take the pain away. They don’t want to be ostracized or be seen as being weak so they pile everything up until some of them snap and decide to take their lives.

If you are out there and you’ve had thoughts of taking your own life, just know that you are not alone and there is help. You just have to realize that it’s ok to seek help. To all those who’ve lost someone this is your chance to tell your story and help another soul. If you ever feel like taking your life or talking to someone, you can call the South African Depression and Anxiety Group on this number 0800708090, 011 262 6396,0800567567.

Picture sourced from: devidasite.wordpress.com

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