What a time to not be a zombie. Avoid the boring french maid outfits and the politically incorrect costumes – blackface is not funny – and enjoy this Halloween without being that asshole at the party.
Don’t show up as f**ked up couples
No Oscar and Reeva. Don’t pitch up in threes as A.K.A, DJ Zinhle and Bonang. Don’t reignite the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation.
It’s not fair for you, random person to make fun of other people’s unfortunate relationships. Let’s not be insensitive this Halloween, please.
Don’t overstep the line and be offensive
Blackface. Should I continue? Let’s not try too hard to get into character, guys. No blackface, whiteface or extreme attempts at expressing that you’re dressed as someone of another “race”.
If you can’t tan or need to stay out of the sun to achieve your desired tone, just move on to the rest of the outfit.
Don’t be boring
We’ve about had it with Game of Thrones, hey -the velvet cloaks, veils and sheaths. The leather straps, plated armour, fury overcoats, boots, bandeaus, plaited braids . . . Okay, so maybe we haven’t had enough of Game of Thrones.
But the nurse, the French maid, Catwoman (I know right?), Black Widow are all played out and might need a little extra pizzazz.
Don’t be ignorant
Cross-dressing has been happening on Halloween for ages now, but this year’s series of events with regards to gender have been radical in the eyes of many. Here’s the thing, transgender people are not costumes, so whether you think you’re doing it in good faith or not, you’re still alluding to some kind of mockery.
The tradition is to dress up as monsters/ghouls or pop culture characters not to try and piss off as many people as possible. Check the #WereNotMonsters if you’re unsure.
Red overalls and berets on standby for now.
Do have decoy clothes
Your Halloween outfit might not be so warm and comfy at 4 a.m when you are crawling back into your neighbourhood. A decent overcoat will do the trick.
A whole decoy outfit is an option, especially if one of your friends is showing up as The Hunchback of Notre Dame and doesn’t mind carrying all your props. You could also change in the car, because even though it’s 2015, we still can’t teleport.
Do embrace subcultures
Not in the mood for shock, horror and gore? Well, some diverse eccentricity may do the trick. It would be so boring if we all just ended up looking emo.
Channel your inner skhothane, wear your most expensive outfit and have endless amounts of swag just for a day.
Now is a good time for those rock studs and leather and practice your air-guitar or don a pair of nerdy glasses and “may the force be with you.”
Do think outside the rhombus
How about we take those ordinary ideas to other planets, realms or decades. We could take it a notch further and put modern concepts back in the past . . . Like you can be the Marshmallow Princess from the Stone Age who travelled all the way from Mars, right through a glitter cloud and just discovered mascara.
Or how about “Space Alien Nurse” (not Ebola nurse. No guys, come on).
We could show our appreciation for internet sensations, like Nyane & Mpho. Everyone has their favourites. For some of them it’ll be the first time they’re out in real life in a long time.
Do get to know the other freaks. Treat yourselves to some conversation, jokes and re-enactments. Take a selfie with a zombie and even eat some worm candy.
What if your arch-nemesis is dressed as your character’s arch-nemesis? Gasp! Why not show your pop culture referencing skills on social media.
Do have fun
By all means, stay in character if you want to. Halloween happens once a year, it’s already an adopted tradition, take it to the next level. Own it.
Also, know your crew. Not to say we’re cliques, but don’t leave your friends with uncomfortable strangers, duh.